Private: An Open Letter to Kellogg’s™

Dear Fine Cereal Makerâ„¢:

While I enjoy your Cracklin’ Oat Branâ„¢ cereal, I regretfully inform I will not be participating in your latest Great Offerâ„¢.

You have so graciously offered the chance to send in ten certificates, one located on each box of Cracklin’ Oat Branâ„¢ and three other varieties of Kellogg’sâ„¢ cereals, for a $50 savings bond. I admit that I momentarily intrigued. Seeing to increase the amount of fiber in my life, I have begun to eat more cereal and Cracklin’ Oat Branâ„¢ is one of those I enjoy. Over the next year, I could imagine collecting enough certificates.

However, I do not wish to wait 20 years for $50: to quote Veruca Salt from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factoryâ„¢: “I want it now!”â„¢

On top of that, you ask me to supply my Social Security Numberâ„¢ to your Fine Corporationâ„¢. I think not! You do not supply me with your trade secrets and I do not supply you with my identity. Fair enough?

So thank you, but no. I shall just continue watching the back of your cereal boxes for something useful, such as mazes to help the Bran Buddiesâ„¢ get through the colon or $0.15 coupons off toilet paper.

Sincerely,
A Valued Customerâ„¢