More from Korrespondent Kat:
What a friend asked me today:
I have a suggestion for your next diatribe. Explain to
me how the conservative and/or Republican parties have
gotten so effective at getting out the vote. There are
plenty of liberal minded people. Why the hell don’t
they vote? They almost make me as angry as the
conservatives who get out there and do.
My reply:
How conservatives have taken over the world:
1.) Religion: They have built up the righteous to a fever pitch, and nothing is as single-minded and driven as a person who thinks she is morally in the right. Said person will move hell and high water to change the world to fit those beliefs. The Dems unfortunate “we should all just get along” and compromising nature (which is a good balance) has been toppled by the zealot throngs. Dems lack the passion to fight back. Compassion is for weenies.
2.) Spin: Having put themselves firmly on the ground of missionary/procreation only, they’ve forced desire, lust and just general horniness back to the realms of the dark and seedy. They’ve also managed to separate actual violence (war, pestilence, pillaging), which is GOOD, from fictional violence (“The Matrix,” Kung-fu movies, Ice-T), which is BAD. In doing so, they have reinforced their own superiority and painted Dems and other “degenerates” as the reasons that sex, violence, etc. is so prevalent in today’s society. It is, however, established that sex and violence are prevalent in every society, for without sex there would be no children and without war they would be no conquests. Hence, society would fall apart without healthy doses of both. However, it’s all about establishing that passionate self-righteousness again. It’s not ever, ever about facts. Facts are irrelevant.
3.) Volume:
A.) The right-wings are freakin’ loud. They scream as they enter the world and don’t stop screaming until THE LORD comes to take them home. They bang the gong/drum/hood of the gas-guzzlin’ SUV excessively. Louder than any of us. Louder than LAX traffic control. And, we all know that the squeaky wheel gets the grease. Those Repubs are swallowing a lot of grease. B.) There is a LOT of them. For people who don’t want to see sex on TV and think it’s sinful, they sure pop out a lot of kids. Getting kids still requires the naughty, right? So, obviously, they aren’t practicing what they preach. On average, the Republican, right wing groups have about four times as many children as Democrats. So, through the magic of Darwin’s evolution, they are slowly taking over the gene pool—-even though they don’t believe in Darwin and think he was the Devil himself.So, these are the basic rules that Dems should learn:
1.) Fuck compassion. Compassion is for weenies.
2.) Facts aren’t important. The cause is important. Lie for the cause.
3.) Scream louder than anyone else in the world. Scream until your lungs burst and vocal chords will no longer vibrate. Remember, LOUDER is RIGHTER. Uh, more right.
4.) Add to the collective any way you can: Convert or procreate.
We learn these things, and we might get our country back. Of course, I’m not sure if we’ll want it back once Bush is done slobberin’ all over it like a big Doberman.