The Seven Steps

The Seven Steps to Building a Foundation of Suits

1.Use a high-quality epoxy. Cheap glue won’t hold the weight.
2.Attract Squares with generous stock options; seal the deal with massive tax breaks.
3.Confine in a bank vault with a lingering stink of greed. Provide a bit of diversity to prevent genetic clots: navy and black, pinstripe, perhaps a touch of tweed. Wait.
4.Interest, from a distance, is indistinguishable from breeding. Brooding is another matter—messy and without distinction to appearances, coated in a layer of gray vomit, drool-glistened.
5.Modern techniques have made suits nearly impervious to the universal solvent. Yet tiny gaps in even the tightest weaves give passage to blistering envy.
6.A mismatched button on a cuff might indicate recession; a minor breakdown of the moral order ensues.
7.Here gold, there bone.

–E.W. Wilder

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