If Bush can wage a war on an emotion, in this case, the Global War on Terror, then I can wage my own war on an emotion. I have chosen, therefore, to wage a Global War on Covetousness. Covetousness is, when you think about it, a much more damaging emotion than mere terror. I mean, people spend perfectly good money on scary movies and at amusement parks in order to feel terror, but marketing departments have to actually spend their own money to get people to covet. Terror is fleeting, and, aside from maybe a few flashbacks, is over in a few minutes or a few days. But covetousness is insidious, getting into your head to the point that it becomes a veritable lifestyle of insatiation.
I thought about waging a Global War on Cheekiness, but I kind of like cheekiness, so that would have been a bit difficult to justify–not that a lack of good reason has ever stopped anyone from waging Global Wars, especially these now-a-go-go wars on Global Emotions.
It’s a wonderful idea, really, and I’m sure Freud would have wished he could have thought of it, would he have lived through this era. Instead of theorizing and then talking out your problems, you just find some random country you don’t like and invade, killing 30,000 or so people along the way. There’s really no unpleasant emotional state that killing a few tens of thousands of people won’t make better, no matter your actual psycho-social or economic position.
I also considered a Global War on Joy; it’s such a frivolous emotion, or a Global War on
Contentment, since it’s bad for capital investment, but the current Global War on Terror seems to have killed off those emotions pretty handily anyway.
No, the Global War on Covetousness is a good idea not just because covetousness is yet another annoying and inconvenient emotion we’d do well to dispose of, but also, if we do away with covetousness, there will be no need for a Global War on Terror at all.
On September 4, 2003 · Comments Off
This is interesting. When I put a passage from an UA article into the “gender genie”:
Let’s be honest. Before that blackout that took out a solid chunk of the Northeast this summer, call centers and outage management articles were probably the ones you flipped past with little interest. After all, such works don’t have the overarcing storyline of technology development, nor do they have the interesting twists of new engineering feats. On the contrary, call centers and outage management facilities are the Cinderellas of the utility industry. They’re there for the grunt work, but they never get the glory–until something goes horribly wrong. Unfortunately, then, this Cinderella’s trip to the ball is usually a hurried and unglamourous one–full of angry and angst-ridden phone calls and no fairy godmother in sight.
the “gender genie” says I am male.
But, if I put in a passage from a recent blog entry:
On the amusement front, Robin and I wish to write/produce/film a horror flick starring Vincent D’Onfrio (L&O: Criminal Intent) as twins—one a psycho killer, one just merely a naughty pervert. We haven’t worked out all the details, but we do know that Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen will die in the first scene (a la “Scream” and Drew Barrymore). According to Robin, “Mary-Kate will have been pimping Ashley. Ashley poisons Mary-Kate, but dies a ‘sympathetic’ death due to a mysterious genetic link.” My response was: Good. And then Vincent can stand over her while she’s dying the “sympathetic” death, and, when she calls up at him, “Why? Why?” he can say, “Because God hates you, bitch.”
the “gender genie” says I am female.
Hmmmmm. Interesting. Just what DOES that say about me?
Well, at least one of today’s spam letters didn’t involve Viagra, mortgages, “increasing my member,” or cable descramblers.
“I visited your website “East Westerly Review”. Let me start by congratulating you for running such a fine website, that draws one’s focus upon a proverbial post-mortem of songs. The mock-academic review of the lyrical content of “Baby One More Time” is absolutely brilliant and makes for some excellent reading. The links (at the left panel) are all quite interesting and informative. Write-ups such as yours, inspire others to emulate your feat. Once again, let me congratulate you and mention how much I admire your efforts. . . .”
Please note that the links at the left are just links to other issues. How thick can this guy lay it on? Jeez.